Pregnancy After Loss

A. What is a rainbow baby

A rainbow baby is a healthy little one born to parents shortly after the loss of a previous little one due to a miscarriage, stillbirth or death in infancy. This is a term that is given to these special rainbow little ones, because a in symbolism a rainbow typically appears/follows a storm or rain, giving us hope of what’s to come.

Having a little one soon after losing one brings a slew of emotions, and many rainbow moms will tell you not all are positive emotions. Many mothers who’ve weathered the loss and gone on to have another little one, feel a tremendous sense of self-doubt and guilt at times. They fear others will think they’ve gotten over their previous loss, or that they’ve moved on or replaced their little one. They fear having a rainbow little one, after a stillbirth, in some way dishonors their little one who has passed, and that the joy of the next little one will prevent them from properly grieving.

But a rainbow little one doesn’t mean your loss should be forgotten. Rather, your rainbow little one will carry the torch of the love you will always have for the child you lost, and when you hold that precious little one in your arms, you’ll fully understand the meaning of the term. The beautiful rainbow stories told by rainbow moms are triumphant tales of renewal and healing, with their underlying emotions ranging from bittersweet happiness to overwhelming joy.

First coined by grieving parents on blogs and chat rooms, the term has grown in popularity with the rise of social media. Today, many people associate it with rainbow-themed pregnancy announcements and baby photos that are meant to convey hope and healing.

But carrying a "rainbow baby" is about more than just beautiful photographs. Expectant parents often have mixed emotions during pregnancy and after birth as they navigate commemorating the child they lost while also celebrating a new life.

B. Will this pregnancy be different

Every single pregnancy is different so a short answer to this questions would be yes but as long as you create space for grief( the grief process is a journey and can take many twists and turns), expect to worry(if worry or anxiety gets too much it is ok to reach out for help from friends or loved ones, others that have been in your place or medical professionals), knowing you may feel relief when you pass milestones (like feeling the little one move, hearing the heart beat), or being cautiously connected to the pregnancy ( completely understandable), having guilt in unexpected ways( it is completely OK to be happy for this new little one and sad for the one you lost at THE SAME TIME), feeling like innocence is shattered, prepare for insensitive comments( as well intentioned as they may be, our culture and society are and always have been uncomfortable with death), continuing to grieve is NORMAL, but above all if you can EMBRACE the new moments and challenges( i know what it is like i had a miscarriage after my second child, my third baby is my rainbow baby).

C. Common fears

While you are pregnant with a rainbow little one, you can expect to feel a range of different—and sometimes conflicting—emotions. It is common to feel hope, joy, and excitement one moment, then anxiety, nervousness, and fear the next. or you may even experience them all at once.

This seemingly contradictory experience is partly because you may still be grieving your loss. In fact, research has shown that both parents can grieve their loss much longer than they might have expected, even after the birth of their rainbow baby. And because of this grief, your new pregnancy might trigger feelings of deep sadness when you don't expect them. For example, milestones might bring up difficult memories, or you might find yourself tearful after meeting a friend's little one.

Some parents also struggle with feelings of guilt during their rainbow pregnancy, particularly if they feel positive emotions like excitement or joy. Some worry that their happiness means that they aren't honoring their lost child.

Others experience intense feelings of worry or anxiety because they're consistently afraid of another miscarriage or stillbirth. Sometimes, they find it difficult to stop thinking that something is wrong with their little one, even when there are no indications of a problem. Sometimes, fear of another loss can cause parents to feel disconnected from their pregnancy and even their new little one.

D. Support/Resources - local and online resources

There are also many wonderful organizations, both online and in-person, dedicated to helping people navigate pregnancy after loss, such as Pregnancy After Loss Support or Dr. Jessica Zucker's "I Had A Miscarriage" website. Some parents also find support groups on various social media platforms helpful during this time.

Some others are:

http://www.emptycradle.bc.ca/resources.html

https://www.thebump.com/a/rainbow-baby

https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-loss/rainbow-baby/