Sex and Pregnancy

A. Changes in libido, both increase and decrease

is your libido through the roof? can't get enough? or your never in the mood any more? don't panic!! an increase or decrease in your drive is totally NORMAL and just as normal as your tender breasts, morning sickness and fatigue.

you will get days you can't keep your hands off your partner and other days when sex barely registers on your to do list or in your thoughts, you will most likely notices it will ebb and flow with your pregnancy.

B. Hormones that influence libido

"blame the hormones" fluctuating levels of estrogen and progesterone can lead to these changes in your sexual libido but it can also be impacted by your nausea, fatigue, stress and weight gain. good news!! most women will experience periods where they are more than eager to slip between the sheets for some passion.

Pregnancy triggers many changes that can affect a woman’s sex drive. Higher levels of estrogen and

progesterone, as well as an increase in blood flow to the genitals, can lead to heightened sexual desire.

On the other hand, nausea, fatigue, stress, and the many physical changes that occur as a result of pregnancy can reduce a woman’s desire to have sex.

Women will not all react in the same way to hormonal changes. However, it is common for a woman’s sex drive to decrease during the first trimester, peak in the second, and go down again in the third.

C. Suggestions for overcoming low libido

so your libido doesn't increase? sex during pregnancy doesn't agree with everyone and that is COMPLETELY NORMAL, and don't feel guilty!! and just remember it is only TEMPORARY. there are some things you can do to keep the intimacy and passion alive and at the same time taking the pressure of sex off the table:

create quality time together: ie day trips, going out together, or movies in

caring actions: driving them to their destinations or picking up things for them like things they may have ordered, dry cleaning

affectionate physical contact: not just sex but kissing and cuddling, light caresses and anything that shows you care

appreciative words: give praise, tell them how much you love them ect.

present giving: not just for birthdays or anniversaries but cards and little gifts for "just cause" shows you were thinking of them through your day as they may have with you.

D. Communication between partners is essential

It could be that you're using a different love language than your partner to communicate how you feel now that you are pregnant.

Although it's fine if you don't want sexual contact, it will of course affect your partner. If their main love language is affectionate physical contact, they could feel a bit unloved now that you're not so interested.

If your partner seems unhappy with your decreased libido, it may be that they’re feeling lonely and think that sex is their only way of bridging the gap. But pestering you for sex will make you feel even more turned off. The result is that you’re both feeling angry and unloved. So what can be done?

First, talk about your different languages, so that you understand theirs and they understand yours. Next, find other ways of showing physical affection beyond sex. This could include back rubs, sharing a bath together, and long, lingering cuddles and kisses. You’ll probably enjoy these things so much, they will remain part of your sex life long after your baby has grown.

Once you’re ready to have sex again, take it really slowly. I would suggest at least 15 minutes - preferably half an hour - before any touching of genitals or breasts. And agree beforehand that if you’re still not interested that you can stay with the cuddling and skip the sex. Having sex when you’re not in the mood may build up more problems for the future and widen the emotional gap between you. Listening to each other, and responding to each other’s cues, will help you to find your desire again.